pro-pul-sion [pruh-puhl-shuhn]
-noun
1. the act or process of propelling.
2. the state of being propelled.
3. a means of propelling; propelling force, impulse, etc.
...
1. the act or process of propelling.
the beginning of the semester marked a new chapter for me.
after being away from sch for almost 6 mths,
i forgot what sch would be like, with the usual workloads, the tests, the CAs.
it's also a different environment for me, socially.
because now i have someone to spend my breaks with.
a constant person who bears with my temper when i drive every morning
chopes the bench for me,
to listen to me complain,
to wait for me to finish solat
to study with,
to have meals with
and to go home with.
in the semester prior to IA, i would have felt smothered.
and maybe, to be honest, i still do feel a tinge of the smothered feelings from time to time.
but i guess, it's me, propelling myself into this new chapter.
and all those smothered feelings kinda fade away.
i'm doin fine.
and i'm ok with the fact that i'm stuck with the mountain of work
because i end almost everyday with a nice drive home. :)
2. the state of being propelled.
initially, i thought that i would have it easy choosing Dr **** for my fyp.
he came highly recommended by my senior.
and this is a senior i trust.. (he got me picking aero as a specialization)
but it's past mid term and i haven't had a run with the lab,
basically because fabrication hasn't even begun.
i've been shuttling back and forth different labs,
spoke to several technicians
and basically, this fabrication dilemma's been frustrating.
i told adri (fellow fyp student) that i wanna stop fyp work for now
and continue it later in december.
i just wanted to give up.
up til yesterday, when the prof agreed to change my design specifications.
so now, i need to redo my designs.
generate tooth paths (is it tooth path?) for the machine to cut my pieces.
get quotations for my material manufacturer
alot of work eh?
if i get an A for fyp, i will give everyone involved in my fyp cupcakes.
3. a means of propelling; propelling force, impulse, etc.
religion has always been something i think about.
it's not so much the do's and dont's.
it's more of... frustration.
i get frustrated i don't know enough.
i get frustrated i don't do anything, or do very little to change the fact that i don't know enough.
i get frustrated that i somehow, "lose" myself to wanting to know more.
it's a cycle.
they say, as you get older, you'd be able to find yourself
be comfortable in your own skin
stand for what you believe in.
but i find myself getting more confused.
holding close to religious beliefs, the do's and dont's would mean i have to give up certain things i would like to do.
like, attend a hip hop concert, or join a female dikir group...
many other things...
and as much as i know that forgoing such things will, insyaAllah, be for the better of me in akhirat,
i still feel the urge to want to do such things.
it's as if i force myself to make the decisions to forgo such things.
is it part of controlling yourself?
will this "forced" feeling fade away?
until the decisions i make will come naturally, without me having to question whether or not i'm forcing myself to go against what i'd normally decide on?
isn't this confusing?
:S